ive been away for a while seeking terms for a while / working for a lady who makes decisions with a pendulum for a while / hitch-hiking from portland for a while / about to leave this town for a while / written a few poems recently / here’s one of them.
read it at an open mic in santa cruz and a kind old lady told me i did great and to stay safe,
poem [for sue]
were you born in the west? / sue / wanna chainsmoke with me? / sue / wanna sleep in my bed?
and even today / of course yr gonna tear the boy apart / that’s the way it is, boo.
cigs equal nausea, i thought that was the point. Don’t we all like to vomit? Don’t we all like to get wasted?
even today and upon a burning page composing that the subjugators don’t have to kill us anymore, we’ll do it ourselves.
wanna do some blow, sue? let’s go shoot some tequila and have a pack of blues and frolic in the ocean nude.
the subjugators don’t have to kill us anymore, we’ll do it ourselves; there is psychological violence in our histories.
can we smoke indoors? can we cut off yr hair? can i sleep in yr bed?
don’t be afraid ///
we’re nothing but our own razor wire trenches / overflowing blood and tears / history.
you say fly home, sue, but what home, baby, i’ve burned every bridge and i’m outta money; flat broke.
we’re both in foreign lands; transported to another dimension of naked sea foam, wrecked necks and poetry far from any home, in space while you bite me or i bite you black and blue and we dance in the waves of eternity: sweat fire and paint our faces cunt blood under more full moons than we’ll see tonight.
“nothing is real except for history” sez tyler channeling diane di prima who sez “history is a living weapon in yr hand.”
“this town is like a deep wrist scar” sez dylan imperious the monk in the new jerusalem; utah.
bob dylan sez “Behind every beautiful thing, there’s some kind of pain” as the typewriter click-clacks in the background with mitch behind it.
i am symptomatic of a bigger problem. i am the symptom and this country is the cancer; we hack up dark green goo because we smoke cigarettes.
“The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose” sez james baldwin.
you say that i’m onto something and i say that yr full of shit. there’s nothing left, sue; nothing is real.
even today and it’s “ten ways to write a wrecking ball” sez mitch.
/// and ///
“[sue] What’s a fuck when what I want is love?” sez henry miller.
“where is my mind?” sez the pixies.
“how strange it is to be anything at all” sez mangum.
patchen sez “what shall we do without us?”
sue, poetry found me, but i can’t speak for you, “im a poet. I only talk about myself. I talk about you. Potato potato” sez sue
/// and ///
“I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.” sez neruda.
gloria anzuldula sez “Wild tongues can’t be tamed, they can only be cut out.”
lorca sez “As I have not worried to be born, I do not worry to die” as post/christian sue sez “when i die it’ll be just like before i was born and it won’t matter.”
[ps] of course i’m in love with you. i am in love with you, as a friend, so stay hopeless, I’d never be stupid enuf to let you fuck me, but we both know that’s a lie so why even say it, too bad I already did.
[pps] even today / and / june jordan sez “let this be unmistakable this poem / is not consent I do not consent”
[authors note] mari sez: “You’re such a postmodern clown that your poetry must reference everything because you are trying to contextualize yourself because you want your audience to realize what you think you realize that you think they realize that you realize that you are a part of a conversation with the world.”